Day One

where do I begin.... DW tells me that do to my jealousy and fussing and other short comings that seem to pile up day by day that she now only sees me like any other guy on the street. Basically a roommate that shares her bed and that if I want her to stay then I need to prove myself. I know... I sound like a bad guy or even the worst husband in the the world. But this is far from the truth. And on top of all of that she has announced she will basically do whatever with whomever even if it means cheating. So I ask myself how does one reconcile with the one they love knowing that a booty call seemingly has more respect. I wish I knew. So I have decided not to let her negative views conquer me. I will take this one day at a time. On a lighter note we had a no fussing day. (Day one in breaking the cycle Yea!) I also had a former lover reach out to me to see how I was doing. She has moved on and is in her on committed open relationship. We are nolonger sexually active with one another but it's always good to hear from friends. I guess this blogger is in for some serious growth and a lot of heartache.

Update:
So I am laying in bed next to DW and she comments on how I was ignoring her. ARRGH!! I'm ignoring her now. Just 24 hours earlier I was told that if she never heard me speak to her again or even saw me she wouldn't be sad at all. Hell if I were hurt she would only show up for the kids sake. Now after being told to leave her alone she then tells me 24 hours later I am ignoring her and in the same breath continues to confirm that her feelings or thoughts she expressed last night have not changed. AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHH!!! I know I have a lot of making up to do but OMG!!! this is definitely something I don't understand. This is mental warfare I have enlisted myself into. Thank goodness for single story dwellings because I would so walk off the edge of a highrise right about now!